Holding Onto You
by alwaysmeanslove
Summary: I would say this story is set after s8, Castle and Beckett are already married, but it isn t based on any specific season or episode. (Non-canon story) NOW COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ** **The first chapter is M rated! The rating will change to T in the following chapters!  
I would say this story is set after s8, Castle and Beckett are already married, but it isn't based on any specific season or episode.  
Hope you enjoy! :))**

* * *

"Mmm, it's so delicious," Kate Beckett had exclaimed with her mouth full of food.

They were in a small, cozy Italian restaurant, designed with softly toned woods.

The vibe of the old fashioned wine bar, and the soft, flickering candlelight at the middle of their rounded table made it a perfect place for a romantic evening to celebrate their third wedding anniversary.

Kate had a long and exhausting week, working on hard on a complicated case. Now that the case was finally solved and justice had been served, she couldn't wait to finally have some private time with his husband.

They both ordered a large pasta dish, coated with tomato sauce, and a bottle of their favorite red wine.

"Thanks for inviting me here, Castle." She added with a low, gentle voice after chewing and swallowing her meal, after taking a sip of her Sancerre.

"Always!" He replied with a soft voice, his lips curling up in a contented smile, his bright blue eyes shimmering like sapphire in the dim, flickering candle light.

"I'm glad you enjoy being here. Wasn't sure you would like this place." He then added on a breath, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Why?" She had inquired, furrowing her brow, twirling a long string of pasta along her fork. She kept twirling it until there were only a few, dangling ends, then she placed in into her mouth, the simple but delicious taste filling her insides.

"I don't know, I just... I know you would prefer to eat at more intimate places, " He had sighed, lowering his gaze, wrapping the fork tightly around his own spaghetti, loading up a few long strands on his fork as well.

"I know this restaurant seems pretty crowded right now, but-"

"It's okay Castle." She cut him off in a hushed, reassuring tone.

"I enjoy it wherever, as long as you are there with me." She asserted with a low, gentle voice, covering the back of his hand with her own, lacing her fingers with his.

Her action got him by surprise, his eyes immediately flickered up to meet hers.

For a moment too long he was just staring into her beautiful, gleaming eyes, completely stunned by her amazing presence.

No matter how many years had passed, Kate Beckett was still the most wonderful woman he had ever seen. Her honey brown hair was perfectly tied up in a bun, its loose curls shimmering gold in the dim lightning of the room. Her eyes were usually green like an emerald, but now in the dim, flickering candlelight the color of her eyes were more likely somewhere between hazel green and honey brown, it was hard to tell which one excatly.

She was wearing a simple, but elegant red dress, which was perfectly clinging to her slender frame. She was wonderful. Whatever she wore, she was always wonderful.

"Oh, God! You are beautiful Kate!" He blurted out without even thinking any further, unable to keep her eyes off of her.

"Thanks, Castle." She mumbled under her breath timidly, shying away from his gaze, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.

She quickly collected herself by tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, then she lifted her eyes up again, slowly and tentatively leaning forward to press a kiss to his mouth.

She was about to brush her lips to his, when her eyes landed on a strange figure near to the front door. His face was covered, hidden behind a large, black hoodie. It was weird. So weird. His features were barely visible, but when their eyes met for only a brief moment, she felt like knowing him. He was was familiar. So familiar and yet, she couldn't place him anywhere. She had no idea who he could be.

"Do you know him?" Castle had asked, frowning, curiously following her gaze toward the weird guy.

"I'm... not sure." She mumbled hesitantly, frowning as well, still looking at the dark figure, who was now sitting at a small table at the corner of the restaurant, occasionally sparing a piercing glance at her.

"Does he make you uncomfortable? We can go if you want." He had suggested, gently brushing the back of her hand.

She didn't even notice their hands were still twined. Just a single touch, just a quick brush of fingertips and her insides were already tingling, the uncomfortable knots in her stomach slowly loosening.

"No, it's okay. We can stay." She insisted, flashing him a reassuring smile, averting her gaze back onto her plate still full of food.

In the following minutes they were eating in awkward silence, then Castle started talking about lighter topics to ease the tension.

She bursted out in hard laughs time to time, the sound of her carefree laugh caressing his ears like a soft melody. She wasn't drunk, no she was able to control herself despite the amount of red wine they had drank in the past few hours. She was just simply happy, carefree, enjoying the moment, enjoying their third wedding anniversary.

* * *

A cool breeze hit her face in a second they stepped out of the restaurant, the sudden shock of cold air making her entire body shiver.

Kate was wearing a thin coat only, the weather was still nice and sunny when they left home earlier, she didn't even consider bringing a warmer coat. The degrees were still positive, but the fall was slowly coming to an end, the frigid, late night November air reminding her at every step that winter is just around the corner.

The brisk autumn air made her nose wet, she had to blew it out with a tissue from her purse. After pocketing the tissue she squeezed the barely sensable coat tighter around her body, trying to cover the exposed, bare skin of her neck like it would help to keep her warm.

"Is it that cold for you?" Castle had asked, worry and concern mirroring in his voice.

"It's okay, we are almost at home I will make it, don't worry!" She lied, exhaling heavily at her ice cold, trembling hands. They were only a few blocks away from his loft, but she was already chilled to the bone, her entire body shivering, trembling like a leaf, she could barely feel her fingers.

"Jeez, you are freezing Kate, let me help you!" He insisted, draping his own coat around her shoulders without hesitation, without even asking, tugging her shaking frame into the cove of his body.

"Thanks." She mumbled, her voice shaky, trembling hard after each syllable. She snuggled closer into his embrace then, looping her arms around his waist.

Leaning into his side her body finally started warming up, the exposed skin of her bare shoulders slowly heated up under the warmth of his large coat.

Now that she wasn't freezing that much, she lifted her gaze up, observing the starlit sky for a moment too long. She then lowered her gaze back onto the sidewalk, watching some other pedestrians strolling on the dimly lit streets of New York.

She grew up in the city, she knew every street, every corner like the back of her hand, and she could never get tired of this amazing view, as the soft glow of the city lights illuminated the entire street, bathing them both with a golden light.

Resting her head against her shoulders she inhaled deeply through her nose, the chilly night air momentarily numbing her nostrils.

"Do you feel better now?" Castle had whispered, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ears, making her entire body shiver with warm pleasure.

"Yeah, thanks." She nodded in a reply, a contented smile tugging at her lips.

"And once we get home, it's my turn to keep you warm, Castle." She then whispered into the shell of his ear, her low, gentle voice making his insides flutter.

"I will keep you warm in many different ways." She added on a breath, her numb, freezing fingers toying with the hem of his shirt.

"Oh, Katherine Beckett, I never thought you would be that kinky." He retorted, his husky voice an octave lower, teasing her the same way.

"See, I'm full of surprises." She bit back, smiling in contentment.

"Just wait til we get home, and -" He silenced her with his own mouth then, cupping her face in his large palms, unable to resist her any longer.

"Can't wait." He breathed into the bare skin of her neck when their lips aparted to get some fresh air, his mouth already missing hers. He then quickly pulled her in for another slow, long kiss, tasting the remnants of dinner on her parted lips.

* * *

When they finally crossed the treshold to his loft, Castle was unable to keep his hands off of her anymore.

After closing and locking the front door he pushed her to the wall instantly, kissing every inch of her skin, cupping her breasts through the think fabric of her dress. She moaned in response, burrying her fingers into his hair, her mouth hungrily searching his. When her lips found what they were looking for she fused her mouth with his, kissing him as fiercly as she could.

The loft was emty, Alexis was at a school trip for a few days, and Martha had other plans for the night as well, so without thinking any further he started undressing her right there in the kitchen. He quickly unzipped her dress with his nimble fingers, slid it down her legs, letting it fall onto the floor. She stepped out of her clothes without hesitation, her mouth still locked with his, her fingers desperarely searching for his belt. While she undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants he quickly got rid of her bra, unclapsing the white cotton with a quick sweep of his hand. He then slowly skimmed the tips of his fingers along her skin, tracing the lines of her exposed breasts.

She shivered at his touch, a wave of heat spreading through her ice cold body.

After he finally stepped off of his unbuttoned pants as well, she hooked her legs around his waist and laced her arms around his neck, hungrily kissing the skin of his bare shoulders. He cupped her ass in response, squeezing it firmly, holding her tight against his own body. He then hoisted her up into his arms without hesitation, taking fast steps toward the bedroom, kissing her cheeks, her neck, her breast, wherever he could, wherever his mouth landed.

* * *

Once they got into the bedroom he slowly, _carefully_ lowered her down, easing her onto the mattress. Her entire body shivered when the naked skin of her back came in contact with the cold sheets beneath her, but she didn't care at all. She knew her yearning body will heat up in a matter of seconds beneath the work of his fingers.

After letting her sink into the mattress he quickly got rid of his own shirt and stepped out of his boxers.

He then crawled in bed too, kneeling above her, fusing his mouth with hers. She parted her own mouth in response, her tongue welcoming his in a fiery, passionate kiss.

Her fingers were digging deep into his hair, when his mouth abandoned hers, planting hot kisses onto her neck and shoulders. He then lowered his mouth down the corner of her left breast, his tongue hungrily licking the tender flesh above her sternum, eliciting a shiver down her spine and a low moan from her sligtly parted lips.

He knew every inch of her skin, every curve of her body, every single faded scar like the back of his hand, but he still took his time exploring her like it was their first night ever together.

He was about to trace his fingers along her lower body, leaving hot, ticking kisses on the naked skin of her belly, when his eyes landed on her white, lacy underwear, the only piece of material left between them. He slid it down her legs with such an ease, the soft caress of his fingers making her blood sizzle with anticipation.

Her legs were already parted, ready for him to enter her, ready for him to came home where he belongs, but he just kept teasing her over and over, skimming his fingers along the most sensitive parts of her body, stealing kisses here and there, eliciting a hot, burning shiver down her spine, accompained with loud moans from her mouth.

"I will make sure you never forget this night." He whispered into the bare skin of her neck, slowly crawling over her, pushing her deeper into the mattress, the weight of his warm body pressing hard against her naked breasts, heating up every inch of her bare skin.

"Oh, so are you punishing me now?" She panted heavily as he began teasing her, his lenght caressing her entrance in a cirling motion.

"Yes, I am." He rasped proudly with a knowing smirk, his eyes meeting hers.

"For what excatly?" She snapped back without even missing a beat, holding his gaze steadily, her hands slowly skimming down the lenght of his spine.

"For stealing my coat." He managed to get out on a strangled breath, slowly loosing his control over the hot brush of her fingertips.

"I didn't steal it, you gave it to me on your own, remember?!" She shot back teasingly, cupping his men parts with her free hand, squeezing it firmly.

"Uhm, I just wanted to be polite, you know." He wheezed into her skin, cupping her breast in response, tickling her already tightened nipples right on the spot where it always makes her loose control.

"Yeah sure, so you can punish me later, right?" She breathed out heavily, gasping for air, the work of his fingers slowly driving her crazy.

"Yes." He agreed, panting as well.

"Now you get what you deserve." He added on another strangled breath as his men parts were playing with her lower body, circling around the most sensitive part of her, eliciting an unexpected, loud moan from her mouth.

"And what would that be?" She heaved into the bare skin of his chest, gasping hard for air, slowly falling apart beneath the work of his body.

"Naked punishing." He blurted out on a harsh breath, grinning ear to ear, seemingly pleased with himself.

"So are you ready?"

"Yeah!" She replied faster than she wanted, spreading her legs wider to finally take him in, to finally feel him inside, but to her dismay, he didn't plunge in yet, just kept teasing her around her entrance over and over.

"Oh God, Castle! Just do it already!" She panted heavily, her entire body burning with anticipation, her body slightly rocking forward, yearning for him more than ever before.

"Never thought you would beg this hard to have sex with me, Beckett." He quipped in retort, breathing heavily into the naked skin of her shoulders, a satisfied smirk plastered all over his face.

"Shut up." She wheezed in response, still gasping hard for air, barely able to control herself.

"You can't resist my charm, can you?" He rasped, the hot puff of his laughter staining her naked skin, making her entire body shiver. He then planted his broad palms to her uncovered breasts, squeezed them slightly, just enough to elicit a loud whimper from her slightly parted lips.

Kate was now a moaning mess beneath the work of his fingers, her entire body wet and sweaty, squirming with want and need.

"Castle, please, can you just shut up, and-" She moaned eagerly and with that, he finally plunged in with a smooth, gentle thrust, closing all distance between them. All the words died on her tongue when his lenght finally came in contact with the right place between her legs. She cried out loud, eyes flickering up in pleasure, her body rocking forward instictively, her inner muscles clenching hard.

"Oh, God Castle," She panted into the bare skin of his neck, trying to muffle her cries.

"Is it too harsh?"

"No, it's okay. It's... fine." She managed to get out on a strangled breath, her body swaying forward, deep into his, matching the gentle, steady rhythm of his thrusts.

They fit together like the jagged pieces of puzzle, completing, filling each other.

"Faster, please... Oh, God Castle!" She gasped out loud, slowly loosing her self-control, digging her nails into the taut muscles at his back to hold onto something.

"Fas-ter, please," She kept begging, her breath catching harshly after each syllable due to the hot, burning pleasure slowly overtaking her entire body, spreading through her insides like a wildfire.

She then folded her legs higher at his waist, pleading him to slide further inside her.

He gave her what she wanted, fastened his thrust, cradled her yearning body in his arms like it's the most precious thing he ever held, but he was still careful, withdrew then glided back in slowly, _gently_, trying not to cause her any more pain.

Kate was almost at the edge, breaking apart on soft moans beneath the sway of his body.

Her hips were jerking forward after his every thrust, white-hot pleasure running up and down her spine.

Her vision slowly started fading as as his thrusts eventually became faster and sharper, her entire body slowly melted beneath him.

She felt herself carefree, flying somewhere above the clouds where nothing else matters just happiness.

Her mouth occasionally parted on low moans and whimpers until her vision completely faded, little white stars dancing before her eyes. Her control slowly faltered, she was unable to keep track of herself anymore, all she could feel beneath his thrusting, moving body was pleasure, desire and want.

* * *

When she came down from the clouds, from the endless sea of pleasure, she slowly opened her eyes, looking straight into his satisfied, delighted gaze.

Her own legs were still parted, slightly quivering, her body limp and sated, slick with sweat.

She didn't know how much time had passed, minutes or even hours since she passed out beneath the work of his body, but he was still kneeling above her, gazing down lovingly at her uncovered, sweat stained body.

"Staring's creepy, Castle." She mumbled, flashing him a weak smile.

"Sorry, I can't help it, you are beautiful when you sleep." He shot back teasingly, circling his thumb around her lower body in a slow, soothing motion, right on the spot where her muscles were already swollen.

She only hummed in response, squeezing her eyes shut, enjoying the work of his soft fingers for the second time in a row.

"Tonight was amazing, Castle." She muttered, opening her eyes once again, looking straight into his sky blues, which were now shimmering more like sapphire in the dim lightning of the room.

"Best anniversary ever." She then added on a breath, cupping his face in her palm, gently caressing the lenght of his cheekbones with her slim fingers.

"Yeah, I agree." He nodded with a contented, pleasant smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"So does it mean," He began, tracing his fingertips along the curve of her left breast, eliciting a shiver down her spine.

"That you are ready for round two?" He inquired playfully, tickling the naked skin of her breast, circling his thumb along her tightened nipples just enough to tease her, just enough to drive her crazy.

She hummed in pleasure, her body slightly jerking forward, her toes curling up in excitement.

"Yeah, sure I am!" She breathed into his mouth with a sultry voice, quickly rolling him over, landing on top of him, her aching body oh, so ready and greedy for more.

Then it was all about the pleasure and fun again, they kept each other warm all night, just like they had promised.

* * *

On the next day she woke up sore, barely able to move her legs.

Kate was about to snuggle into the warm embrace of his body, but her dismay, the sheets and pillows next to her were cold and emty. Castle had probably woken up earlier, making her breakfast just like he always did. Sweet man, she had thought, smiling under her breath.

Sighing tiredly she then slowly untagled herself from her own sheets with her aching legs, her naked body already mourning the warmth of the bed.

She was about to get up and take a quick shower when a strong, disgusting smell hit her nostrils, suddenly making her all nauseous.

Kate rushed into the bathroom as fast as she could, still completely naked, kneeled over the toilet and heaved up the remnants of last night's dinner in a matter of seconds.

After emtying her stomach and collecting herself she leaned heavily against the wall, contemplating her options.

Can it be pregnancy? She wondered still panting, gasping for air, wiping the cold sweat away from her face.

Well, not because of last night of course, she knew it would be to early to notice yet, but they did ...those kind of activities in bed more than often lately, sometimes not even wearing a protection, so... this could be it, right?

And if it isn't pregnancy, then what else would it be? She wondered, still breathing a bit harshly, the bare skin of her back still heavily pressed against the wall, the ice cold bathroom tile making her entire body shiver.

* * *

**A/N: So this is the first part of my very first multi-chapter. It will probably take a while until I can post the next chapters, as they use to say creativity can't be rushed :)) But I will try to update it as soon as possible. I'm not sure how long this story will be, but I would say it will fall somewhere between 5 - 10 chapters. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, you're finally at home!" Castle's pleasant voice rang through the kitchen in instant she had set her foot inside the loft.

"Yeah," Kate sighed aloud in relief, unable to even greet him properly.

"Finally." She then added under her breath with another long, heavy sigh, quickly getting rid of her coat and high heels.

Kate was dealing with a strong headache all day, she couldn't wait to finally be at home. She was also tired an exhausted, barely standing on her own two feet.

She had a long day again, working hard on a new case, which seemed to be more complicated then they tought it would be.

"Dinner is almost ready, you want some?" He had asked with his usual, gentle voice, interrupting her thoughts.

"No, thanks." Kate replied without even missing a beat, without even thinking any further. She had barely eaten all day, but the thought of food itself made her naouseous all over again.

She was feeling fine all day - well, not completely fine, but let's say it was okay - and now, the smell of dinner (which in normal circumstances she would find delicious) only made her stomach even worse.

"Is everything okay?" He had inquired, concerned, taking a few steps toward her.

"Yeah, I'm just not hungry that's all." She lied, avoiding his gaze, tucking a few disheveled strands of hair behind her ears. She then took a step closer to him as well, hugged him tight, inhaling the calming scent of his after shave.

"I'm so tired Castle. I'm going to lie down for a bit, okay?" She then muttered into his embrace with another heavy sigh, the soft fabric of his shirt muffling her voice.

"Yeah, sure!" He replied in a low, husky voice, caressing the lenght of her honey brown hair, which was now shimmering like gold in the strong lamplight.

The gentle stroke of his fingers made her relax, she had even closed her eyes for a moment too long, then she quickly lifted her gaze up to lock her eyes with his, before she would fell asleep right there in his arms.

Kate flashed him a sweet, but tired smile, and before she could think any further, his lips were suddenly moving over hers, his tongue brushing the corners of her mouth. It was just a quick kiss, just a quick brush of their lips nothing more, but still, it was enough to make her feel better.

When their lips aparted to get some air she had murmured a silent _"thank you"_ into his ears, then she pulled away from his embrace, trudging toward the bedroom to finally have some rest.

* * *

When she stepped into the bedroom and changed into her Pjs, she perched herself at the edge of the bed, reached for her phone with a tired, heavy sigh, then after grabbing the device and opening the contact list she dialed her best friend.

"Hey, Lanie!" Kate greetened her friend in instant she picked up.

"Sorry for calling this late, I just... uh, can I ask you a favor?" She had asked nervously, lowering her voice, biting her lower lip. Lanie was quiet for a brief moment, probably surprised by her late night call, but she told her to go on anyway, so Kate went straight to the subject.

"Can you do some test on me tomorow?" She blurted out after a short beat of silence with an unsteady voice, twirling a loose curl of hair around her forefinger.

"What kind of test?" Her friend had asked back curiously, a hint of concern hiding in her voice.

"I uh... let's just say I'm not feeling well." She mumbled in a hushed tone, taking quick glances toward the door to make sure no one is listening even though the door was closed.

"Kate, if you aren't feeling well, you should go to real doctors." Her friend had replied in a warning tone.

"Aren't you a real doctor too?" She remarked instantly, ignoring her friend's seriousness.

"I am, but you know what I mean." Lanie had pointed out, her slightly teasing voice pleasantly ringing through the phone.

"Yeah I know, but it's not that bad, don't worry. Besides, I trust you so much more, Lanie. So what do you say?" Kate had asked with a sigh, almost pleading.

"Well, okay then. See you in the morning." Her friend had gave in eventually, after a short beat of silence.

Kate had let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding in when Lanie's hesitant, but reassuring voice rang through the speaker.

Thank God she agreed without asking any more questions, Kate had sighed out in relief after thanking her friend and ending the phone call. She knew Lanie was worried about her, she always is, that's why she is such s good friend, so Kate decided to explain her everything tomorow.

Scraping her hand through her slightly disheveled hair and letting out another tired, heavy sigh she placed the phone back onto the tiny night stand, crawled in bed and fell asleep in a second her head hit the pillow.

* * *

"Heey, girl!" Lanie had greetened her with a big smile on her face, when she entered the morgue on the next morning.

"You look like hell, are you sure it's not that bad?" She then added in concern, her eyes roaming over her entire frame.

"No, I'm not sure Lanie, and I don't even know where go begin." Kate had sighed aloud tiredly, barely able to stand on her feet, despite the amount of hours she had slept last night.

"Don't scare me, girl!" Lanie warned her teasingly.

"Let's just start with what kind of tests do you want me to do, okay?" She then added, giving her the courage to go on.

"A proper blood test." Kate had blurted out with a heavy sigh.

"I was throwing up yesterday morning, and..." she said haltingly, unsure how to even continue.

"So you think you are pregnant?" Lanie chimed in dazedly, filling the void of silence.

"Well, yeah..." Kate had stammered, running her hand through her hair. "Yesterday I thought I was but," she then paused, sucking in a deep breath. "Now I'm not sure Lanie, I feel like something else is going on, and I need to know what that is." She went on with another heavy sigh, releasing a breath she hadn't known she was holding in.

"Does writer boy know about this?" Lanie had inquired with a lowered, gentle voice, her face wearing the expression of concern and worry.

"No, I want to know for sure before telling him." She asserted with a stern voice. There is no way she is going to involve Castle into this. Not yet anyway.

"Well, okay, it's your choice." Lanie commented with a shrug, searching for something in her drawers.

"Then sit up there, so I can take your blood." Added the medical examiner, gesturing toward a large metal table with a pair of needles in her hand.

"How long til we get the results?" Kate had inquired after sitting up on the table, where usually dead bodies use to lay.

"A few hours maybe? I will call you as soon as I have them, okay?" Lanie told her with a reassuring smile, unwrapping the needle from it's box. She waited until Kate pulled up the sleeve of her shirt, then she slowly, carefully inserted the needle into her left arm.

* * *

It was past 3 p.m. already, and the test results were still nowhere to be seen.

Kate was anxiously checking her phone in every five minute, even though she knew it's pointless.

After Lanie took her blood in the morning she stayed there for a little while to collect herself, and to explain everything to her friend.

Lanie had listened to her carefully like she always did, saying she will hurry the blood test to get the results as soon as possible, and yet here she was, still without answers, pursing her lips in pain, trying to repress a whimper as another wave of nausea swirled through her stomach.

Kate was now in the precinct's small bathroom, gripping the porcelain egdes of the sink, trying to stand on her quivering, unsteady legs. She heaved in a few deep breaths, trying to keep herself together, then she leaned over the sink and vomited a bile, again and again.

She had barely eaten all day, so there wasn't much to throw up anymore, but her angry stomach still refused to calm down, as in fact she was feeling worse and worse by each passing hour as the day slowly dragged by.

It wasn't pregnancy, she was hundred percent sure about that by now. She had probably gotten some kind of a virus, her forehead was burning up and her entire body was shaking hard. If only she would have those results already, she had thought to herself as she heaved up more and more into the tiny bathroom sink.

When the riot in her stomach finally began to ease she slowly lifted her gaze up, still gasping for air, taking a quick glance at herself in the mirror. Her face was pale, her hair disheveled, her her entire body trembling like a leaf. God, she looked like even worse than she did in the morning, she grimaced, suddenly feeling the disgusting taste of vomiting still lingering in her mouth. Kate was about to rinse it out when another, strong wave of nause washed over her, almost sending her to the floor. She quickly in- and exhaled through her nose to gather herself, but it wasn't helping. Nothing was helping. She could barely breath past the agonizing, umbearable knots twisting in the pit of her stomach. Her mind was fuzzy, her face drenched in cold sweat.

She needed help. Kate hastily fumbled around to find her phone, when she realized she had left it on her desk.

Damnit, she grumbled under her breath weakly, tears swelling up in her eyes.

She was holding onto the sink more firmly now, forcing her unsteady legs to keep her upright, but the unsettling feeling at the pit of her stomach grew stronger and stronger by each passing second anyway, and the room was spinning around, no matter how hard she tried to blink past the bursts of blackness blurring her vision.

Kate shouted for help with every ounce of energy she had, but no one heard her desperate cries. The bathroom door was closed, the bull pen almost emty, everyone minding their own business. The boys, Ryan and Espo were somewhere out there, tracking down a lead connected to their current investigation.

She was alone, worried, broken and devastated.

A low whimper broke past her quivering lips as she eventually let go off the sink, letting herself collapse to the floor. Her vision started to swim, the world around her slowly faded.

"Castle," was the last thing she managed to get out on low whisper before her eyes fell shut entirely, her weakened body slowly surrending itself to the coaxing, endless sea of darkness.

* * *

Castle had stayed at home the whole day, working hard on a chapter he was behind with. He was right at the middle of an exciting, intense scene, words were flowing out of his mind like a river.

He didn't even realize how many hours he had written in one sitting, until his phone rang, interrupting the whirl of his thoughts.

He startled at the buzzing sound, growling under his breath.

"Hey, Lanie! What's up?" He had inquried after checking the caller's ID and putting the device to his ear. Rising up from his chair and stretching his spine he took a quick glance out the window, suprisingly noticing that it's already dusk outside. Wow, he had really written a lot today.

"Oh wait, whaat?!" He then snapped back loudly, tearing his gaze away from the window. His eyes widened in shock, in instant Lanie's distressed voice filled his ear.

Castle had no idea what kind of test results was the Latina talking about, but he quickly grabbed his keys and coat, pocketed his phone and stormed out of his loft to hail a cab.

* * *

The night had settled by the time the taxi had finally arrived to the given adress, thanks to the slow traffic they somehow got mixed up into.

The cold and frigid November air made him shudder in instant he stepped out of the car, but it was his least concern right now.

After quickly paying the driver, Castle hurried toward the hospital building, cursing the bad traffic under his breath for arriving this late. He ran as fast as he could, straight to the stairwell without even taking a glance back, up til the third floor without even stopping, Lanie's terrified voice echoing in his mind the whole time. _"Beckett got poisoned. Ryan and Espo found her unconscious."_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know I said it's set after s8, but certain characters are still alive in this Caskett universe.  
The doctor's name was suggested by my friend, remarkablebeckett on Insta.  
Thanks for all the responses. :))**

* * *

"Where is she, where is my wife?!" Castle demanted desperately, bursting into the hospital's waiting room. Ryan and Espo were already there, anxiously pacing on the corridor. Thank God they were allowed to ride in the ambulance with Beckett, at least she wasn't surrounded by a bunch of strangers on the way to the hospital, even though she most probably wasn't aware of anyone's presence.

"They took her into the emergency room in instand we got here," Ryan quickly briefed him in, gesturing toward the large double door.

"We haven't seen her since then, and apparently non of the doctors are willing to tell us anything, because we aren't family." He then added, seemingly frustrated.

Family. Shit, her father!

"Did you guys called her dad too?" Castle had asked, concerned.

"Yeah, we tried, but he didn't pick up." Espo chimed in with a sigh.

Oh, right. Her father was in his cabin in upstate Manhattan, Kate had mentioned it earlier this week. The cabin is a secluded place, deep inside the forest without any proper cell service, so that would explain why they couldn't reach him. Damn it, he will have to call him later then, Castle had noted to himself.

"It's been hours since you guys arrived, are you sure she still in there?" Castle had asked, nervously stepping here and there, ranking his hand through his short hair.

The two boys didn't say anything, they only nodded in response.

"Jeez, I can't believe this happening." He then added on a heavy sigh, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Don't worry Castle, she will be fine, she will make it." Ryan said in a low voice, gently patting his back.

Castle nodded, trying to reassure himself. Teardrops were forming at the corner of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall free. He took in a deep breath instead, trying to collect himself.

"Do we know anything about the poison at least?" He then asked, trying to change the subject.

"Like we said, they didn't want to tell us anything at first," Espo began, "however we showed them our badges to gather some information in sake of the investigation, and they told us she most likely got poisoned by eating food." The hispanic detective stated on a heavy, disappointed sigh.

Castle swallowed hard, slightly nodding, trying to process the information.

"Did you notice anyone strange near her lately?" Ryan chimed in, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"It could be whoever..."

"No, I didn't." Castle quickly trailed him off, his voice low and disappointed.

"Wait!" He then exclaimed, earning both of the boys attention.

"Actually yeah, I did see someone!" He asserted with a lighter tone.

"As in fact, it was her who noticed, a strange guy was sneaking around, glancing at us while we were eating in a restaurant two days ago." He stated with a sigh, the last part of his sentence barely audible, more like a whisper. It was hard to believe that all this mess started on that beautiful night.

"He was familiar," he went on quietly, lowering his gaze in shame, "but we didn't recognize him." He then added, already blaming himself for letting this to happen.

"It's okay Castle, you couldn't have known." Espo muttered in reassurance.

"So what do we know about the poison so far?" Castle had inquired with a sigh, after a long, unnerving moment of silence.

"Laborants and chemics are still analyzing it," Espo began with his usual detective voice, "but according to what they know so far, these kind of stuffs were mostly used at some kind of cosmetics, back in previous centuries."

_Wait, cosmetics?! _

"Kelly Nieman!" Castle blurted out without hesitation, without even thinking twice, suddenly remembering the creepy plastic surgeon offering a bag of cosmetics to Beckett a few years ago, but Kate refused to accept it. Could that be a sign?

"Why would Kelly Niemann want to hurt her like this?" Ryan questioned instantly, his voice rising in confusion.

"Look Castle, I know she is evil, but..."

"Jerry Tyson!" Castle cut him off, his eyes widening in realization. "The strange guy at the restaurant, it was him!" Castle had exlaimed, pointing his forefinger toward the guys.

"What makes you think it's him? You said you didn't even recognize him!" Espo jumped in, his voice gaining volume by each word.

"Yeah, because he was wearing a hoodie, but I got a glimpse of his face when he turned around and trust me, it was him. It had to be him." Castle went on determinedly, ignoring the boys disapproving glares.

"It all make sense now!"

"Nothing makes sense!" Ryan fought back, his voice rising with anger.

"Why would he do this, Castle? We aren't even running an investigation against him now." Espo joined, rising his voice too, trying to stop Castle's nonsense theorizing.

"I don't know, maybe to avoid suspicion, but... you guys don't believe me, right?" Castle shot back after a brief moment, hurt and disappointment lacing his voice.

"We would like to believe you," Ryan said softly, trying not to turn this into an argument, "but there is no evidence of any of this."

"She would believe me, you know." He snapped back instantly, slowly loosing his nerves.

"Kate would believe me, she would want us to go after him, she would..."

"No, Castle!" Espo cut him off with a hint of bitterness in his voice. "Beckett would want us to chase real leads, not imaginary ones." The detective stated firmly, holding Castle's gaze, and that was it, he lost all his nerves.

Esposito's voice left no room for any further argumemt, and Castle didn't want to make a scene here, but the boys, who were suppose to be at his side, who should never let Beckett down, apparently refused to believe him. As in fact, they made fun of his theories. It hurt, it really did, and he was ready to say something back, something which for sure he would regret later, but...

"Kate Beckett's family?" A calm, unfamiliar voice spoke behind his back, interrupting the whirl of his thoughts, and his rising anger.

"Yes, it's me. I'm Rick Castle, her husband." Castle had replied, his voice suddenly lowering an octave.

"How is she?" He then asked in concern, turning his back on the two boys.

"She is still unconscious," the man in the white lab coat began, "but don't worry, she will make it." He added, lifting his hand in surrender. Castle only nodded, waiting for him to go on.

"We emtied the contents of her stomach by performing a gastric lavage on her," the doctor began to explain, never leaving Castle's concerned gaze.

"So the poision is now gone from her system, and she is expected to wake up in a few hours."

Castle had sighed out in relief, releasing a breath he hadn't known he was holding in.

"We are gonna keep her overnight, "Dr. Scott had continued sternly, "and if everything goes well, she will be discharged by tomorow morning." Castle nodded in relief, all the tension in his body finally lessening.

"Come on, I will show you her room." The doctor said with a soft smile, gesturing toward a long corridor which led to hospital rooms. Castle had followed him instantly, pushing through the swinging doors without even taking a glance back at Ryan and Espo. Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn't look into their eyes now, not after this argument they had, and besides, all he could think about was Kate now. He couldn't wait to finally see her.

* * *

He slowly, quietly eased the door of her hospital room open, trying not to break the peaceful silence. The doctor said he can stay until she wakes up, so he silently walked in, sauntered to her bedside and sat down on the small plastic chair next to her.

She was laid up in a hospital bed, changed into a short sleeved hospital gown, with a bunch of wires flowing down her arm. She wasn't on machines, no, just an IV fluid was attached to her left arm, but still... seeing her like this, her body stiffened, her eyes closed, only made his insides twist in knots.

"It's gonna be fine, Kate. I'm here." He whispered into the silence of the room, gently caressing the side of her face, brushing away a few, disheveled curls of her hair.

Her forehead was still burned up, which made him uncomfortable. According to the doctors the poision is gone from her system, which means she shouldn't have fever already, and yet, here she was, still fighting hard againist the... whatever kind of chemicals were still most likely lapping in her system.

Nevermind, Castle had thought to himself. She is strong, she will make it.

* * *

Hours have left, and Kate was still unconscious. Something isn't right, Castle shook his head in disbelief, nervously walking here and there in the small hospital room, cursing himself the entire time for not being there when she needed it the most. He tried to occupy himself by playing a game on his phone, he even tried to think about the fight with Ryan and Espo, was contemplating to call them and apologize for turning his back on them, but no matter how hard he tried to distract himself, it wasn't helping. Nothing was helping to get rid of all the unnerving thoughts whirling in his mind. Jeez, he just wanted her to finally wake up!

Letting out a frustrated, heavy sigh, he finally gave up on strolling here and there. He slowly pulled the tiny plastic chair closer to her bedside, careful not to make any disturbing noise. When the chair was in its place he tiredly slumped down, rubbing his eyes. He didn't even know what time it was, probably late night already.

He was about to grab his phone from the bedside table, when out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of Beckett, slightly moving in her bed.

"Kate?" He asked tentativily, snapping his eyes back to her.

A low moan broke free from her mouth in response, and all his fears and worries were suddenly gone. She was finally waking up, he breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Kate, oh hey!" He spoke to her gently, caressing the lenght of her face. She didn't show any response, only moaned and wheezed again, louder this time, her body involuntairy jerking forward by each intake of a breath.

No, no. Something isn't right, he shook his head, frowning in concern.

"Kate?!"

Her body jerked forward once again, harder this time, and her mouth was opened, visibly gasping for air.

She wasn't waking up, she was struggling to breathe.

"Kate!" He shouted her name in instant the realization hit him, jumping off from the tiny hospital chair to hove above her, urgently bushing the button to call for help.

Her body was now violently shaking, her lungs contracting with the need of oxygen, but the air could barely make it past her shrinking, closed up airway.

She was just gasping, coughing and wheezing, choking on breathless noises, the heat of her struggling breath staining his skin.

Castle held her by her forearm, careful not to jostle the bunch of IV lines. He was trying to sweep her hair away from her face by gently caressing her cheeks, but he could barely even hold her at one place, due to the harsh tremors wracking her entire frame.

Her eyes were now briefly opened, unfocused, staring into the nowhere.

"Kate, look at me! I'm here, you hear me? I'm here." He pleaded to her desperately, stroking the side of her face, trying to soothe the strong wave of agony rippling through her system. She was gasping for air even harder now, trying to take in a deep breath, but she failed each time.

"It's gonna be fine, just hang on, you hear me? It's gonna be okay." He kept begging to her, talking in reassurance, even though he knew it's pointles.

She was fading in his arms, he could tell that for sure. The color of her skin grew paler, her eyes darknened, and the jerk of her body wasn't that violent anymore.

_No, no, no! _

"Kate, stay with me! Stay with me, okay?!" He pleaded desperately, with tears in his eyes. He then quickly slid one of his hands beneath her neck to support her head, like he did all those years ago in the cemetery, when she was dying in his arms. There was no blood this time, but the situation was nothing better.

"Stay with me, Kate!" He echoed his own words, clinging to the hope that she may hear it, pushing the panick button with his free hand like an idiot.

"I love you too much Kate, don't leave me please, you know I can't live without you, right?!" He stated, confessed, pleaded on a broken sob, trying to keep her awake for as long as possible, but her unfocused eyes rolled back into her skull anyway, as the lack of oxygen was slowly dragging her under. She eventually gave up on breathing, gave up on fighting. Her head lolled to the side, hitting the pillow.

He was still talking to her, still pushing that damned panic button, until her last breath fanned out against his skin, until her body was heavy, limp and unmoving in his arms.

And that's when he finally heard the footsteps approaching.

_**To be continued...**_


	4. Chapter 4

Doctors rushed into the room in a blink of an eye, running directly to Kate.

"Escort him out!" Dr. Scott had ordered, his voice firm, demanding, and before Castle could think any further, one of the nurses grabbed him by his forearm, pulling him away from her, out of the room.

"No, please!" Castle protested on a loud, broken sob. "Just let me be with her, don't take her away from me, noo... !" He pleaded, trying to free himself from the woman's grasp.

"We are trying to save her!" Marie, the young nurse had asserted sternly, interrupting him mid-sentence. "Just let us save her, okay?" She then added, looking straight into Castle's eyes. Her voice was lower now, more reassuring, but her hands were still on his forearm, even though they were already out on the corridor.

Castle only nodded, unsure what to even say.

"Is she going to be fine?" He then asked in low, shaky voice, barely able to hold himself together.

The young, blonde nurse didn't respond anything, she only gave him a symphatetic look, and with that, she went back into Kate's room, where the rest of the doctors were already fighting hard for Beckett's life, leaving him alone on the hospital's long corridor.

* * *

Castle was anxiously strolling here and there, pacing nervous circles on the seemingly endless, long corridor, trying to ignore the curious glares of other patients. He absolutely didn't care what others must think of him now, all he cared about was Kate. He couldn't imagine loosing her.

It's been only a few minutes since the doctors rushed in to save her, but for him it felt like a lifetime.

"Jeez, what takes so long?" He growled to himself, annoyed, frustrated and worried, nervously running his hand through his hair.

He refused to sit down, no, he needed to walk, he needed to do something, but his thoughts were a mile away anyway, all the worst scene scenarios playing on a constant loop in his mind.

Wat if this it? What if she won't make it? What if she won't be able to grace him with that beautiful, beaming smile of hers anymore? What if he wil never be able to hug her, to hold her close? What if he will have to live the rest of his life without the smooth scent of her hair, her skin? What if he will never be able to touch her, to feel the warmth of her body against his? What if he will never hear her angelic voice anymore? What if this the end? What if all they were destined to have was only a three years of marriage? What if...

No, no, no! He shook his head in disbelief, trying to push aside all the horrific scenarios whirling in his mind. She will make it, she has to. He can't loose her, not now, not like this. He can't even fathom a future without her anymore!

He tried to think positive, he really did, but the uncomfortable knots in his stomach tightened by each passing second as he kept pacing and pacing on the long corridor, waiting for the doctors to finally step out of Beckett's room.

As the minute slowly turned into a hour he was about to give up on pacing, slumping down on a slim plastic chair, when Dr. Scott had finally emerged from Beckett's room. His expression was stern and neutral, which was not a good sign, not at all.

Castle slowly rose from the chair, taking an unsteady step toward, his heart pounding hard against his ribcages.

"How is she?" Was all he managed to get out on a shaky breath, already bracing himself for the worst.

"She is alive!" The doctor replied in a soft tone, nodding in reassurance. Castle immediately let out a heavy sigh, and a bated breath he hadn't even realized he was holding in.

"She went flatline, twice, but we could bring her back, and she is stable now." Dr. Scott added with a small, reassuring smile.

"Buut?" Castle had asked, concerned, sensing that there is more to say, that there is a but coming, and he wasn't sure he can handle whetver the doctor is about to say.

"But the poision is stronger than we thought, already spreaded into her entire system, long before she was even brought into the hospital." Dr. Scott began with a low and disappointed sigh, holding Castle's gaze steadily, who could barely even hold himself together.

"So she most likely won't make it," the doctor went on, his voice lowering an octave, and Castle was sure he will faint in any second, but instead of showing any emotion, he only swallowed hard, waiting for the doctor to go on.

"Unless your detectives will find the antitode, that's her only chance to survive." As soon as the words left the doctor's mouth Castle's eyes widened, lit up with hope. So there is an antitode! So there is still a chance!

"Okay, I will contact the 12th, and let them now." Castle had replied instantly, faster than he wanted.

"How much time do we have?" He then asked eagerly, but also a bit worried.

"Well, based on her current condition, I would say less than a day, then her organs will slowly began to fail." The doctor said, letting out a heavy sigh. "So you guys need to be fast."

A slight nod and a hard swallow was all Castle was able to reply. They will find the antitode. They have to, he kept telling to himself.

"Can I see her now?" Castle then asked eagerly, meeting the other man's gaze.

"Yeah, but only for a few minutes." Stated the doctor. "Then you will have to leave, I'm sorry."

"Whaat?!" Castle snapped back instantly without even thinking, anger and disappointment flaring up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Mr. Castle, but she needs to rest, and no one is allowed to stay here overnight anyway."

The hell he cares about others, he won't go anywhere, that's for sure.

"I'm not leaving her alone!" He blurted out, fighting back.

"Don't worry Mr. Castle, she will be in a good hands, she won't be alone." Dr. Scott said with his usual, calm voice, trying to reassure him, but they both knew it's pointless.

"If it would be your wife, would you just walk away?" Castle tossed back immediately, looking straight into the doctor's light brown eyes. By the look on the man's face, Castle knew he hit the sore spot.

"Fine." The doctor then relented with a sigh. "You can stay!"

* * *

The sight of her on machines was heart-wrenching. It isn't the first time that she is on a life support, but for him it is the first time seeing her like this, and it made his stomach churn.

She was laying still, her body unmoving, her arms hooked up with IVs, and a slim, plastic breathing tube was showed down her throat, providing her lungs with oxygen.

He will call the boys and brief them in about the current developments as soon as possible, he had reminded himself, but first he needs to see her, touch her, feel her, so he slowly, cautiosly walked toward her bedside - which was now surrounded by beeping heart monitors - and eased himself down on the familiar, small plastic chair.

After letting out a heavy sigh he slowly leaned closer to her, caressing the side of her face, carefully brushing back a flop of hair, trying not to jostle the slim wires inserted into her nose.

Her mouth was partially opened, and a dribble of her saliva was already staining the pillow in a small patch. He quickly pulled out a tissue from his pocket and wiped the drool away from her slack lower lip, careful not to jostle the slim breathing tube inserted into her mouth.

"It's gonna be fine, Kate. Everything is going to be fine, I promise." He then whispered into the stillness of the room, still caressing her face, but recieving only silence in reply. The room was unnervingly quiet, the steady beep of heart monitors the only source of sound.

"We will get out of this Kate, I promise, just stay strong, okay?" He kept talking to her, whispering reassuring words into her ear, even though he knew she was most likely too deep under to hear anything.

Her face was pale and colorless, her forehead still burned up, despite all the medications coursing through her bloodstream. Her body was limp and fragile, her eyes hidden behind close lids, sentenced to unconsciousness, and there was nothing he could do to help her.

If only they would stay at home that day, on their wedding anniversary! If only he wouldn't be that eager to bring her to that damned restaurant! They could have been avoid all of this, she could have been fine, but no. He was stupid enough to invite her to that fancy dinner, and now here she is, quiet and motionless, slim and fragile, all because of him. Everything was his fault.

Castle knew it's pointless to dwell on it, he knew blaming himself won't help to solve anything, but still... he couldn't stop thinking about it. Being helpless was the worst feeling ever.

"I'm sorry Kate, I'm so sorry." He had whispered, trying to hold back tears. He refused to cry, not in front of her. He has to be strong, he has to be strong for both of them.

Letting out a heavy, exasperated sigh he slowly laid his hand against her chest, feeling the weak, but steady beat of her heart, and the slow rise and fall of her chest beneath his palm. She was alive. That was all that mattered now.

He then slowly lowered his hand to squeez hers, engulfing her slim fingers. Her hands were cold, too cold, so he carefully drew the white hospital sheet higher from her waist, covering her limp and unmoving hands to keep them warm.

He kept watching her for a little while, kissing her burned up forehead, stainig her skin with unspoken promises, then he slowly, quietly rose from the plastic chair to finally call the boys, fearing what they may say based on their previous conversation.

He grabbed his phone with a heavy sigh, and... wait, he has two missed calls?!

Castle quickly dialed back the same number which had called him earlier, then he placed the phone to his ear, waiting for the other end to pick up.

"Hey Espo," he adressed in instant the detective had picked up.

"Hey Castle, is everything okay? We tried to call you before." Espo said with a hint of worry in his voice.

"Yeah I know, I just wasn't in a mood to check my phone until now, the last hour was a bit hectic." Castle had explained with a heavy sigh, scrubbing his hand down his face, trying to soothe the building headache.

"What happened?" Espo had asked instantly, seemingly concerned.

"She is getting worse." Castle sighed out on a breath. "She is already on machines." His voice almost cracked, and he was sure Espo noticed that too. He quickly took in a calming breath and went on, before the hispanic detective could even fathom a response.

"According to the doctors she doesn't have a chance, unless you guys will find the antitode within a day." He blurted out, waiting for Esposito's reaction, but the hispanic detective only cursed something under his breath in Spanish, then after a brief moment of silence, he reassured him that they will do whatever it takes to find the antitode.

"And I'm sorry about what I said earlier." Espo sighed out in agology, already regretting everything he said to the writer earlier. Apparently he was just worried and frustrated like all of them, and Castle could relate to it so well, so he accepted his apology without even having a second thought.

"If you say it's Jerry Tyson, then we believe you, and will do everything to find him." He then added, his voice lighter now, more determined.

"Oh, and Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me everything about the dinner in that restaurant." Castle told him everything he could without hesitation, remembering every single detail without even thinking about it. Espo had listened to him carefully, quickly jotting down some lines into his notebook.

"Thanks bro." He then said after Castle finished his... statement?

"I will go with Ryan to check out that restaurant tomorow morning, see if anyone can-"

"Tomorow morning?!" Castle had bursted out, rising his voice before the detective could even finish his sentence.

"You guys need to go there now! She is dying, we can't wait!" Castle had practically yelled, pressing the phone tighter to his ear.

"It's already past ten in the evening Castle, the reastaurant is long closed!" Espo snapped back instantly, trying to call him down.

"Look, we are worried about her as much as you are, but there is nothing we can do. Not until tomorow morning, okay?" Espo then added, lowering his voice in symphaty, trying to avoid another fight. Castle knew he is right, so he relented with a sigh.

"Okay fine, but call me as soon as you find anything." Was all he managed to get out on a harsh breath, everyething inside of him slowly cracking.

"Yeah, of course Castle, you will be the first one to know." Espo told him meekly.

"Thanks... for everything." Castle sighed out in response.

"Nah, don't thank me yet." Espo had replied, quipped teasingly, trying to lighten up the mood, then he realized it's not the right time for jokes, so he quickly corrected himself, promising once again that he and Ryan will do everything to find that damned antitode in time.

"Just hang on bro, and try to have some rest. Don't worry, we've got this." Espo had said then, reassuring him one more time before ending the phone call.

Castle was always positive and optimistic, but now after everything that happened, he didn't have much faith in anything anymore.

* * *

The night had slowly fallen, the clock almost hit midnight. The entire hospital was quiet, everyone was already peacefully sleeping, except him, and... well, of course the doctors.

After the phone call with Espo, Castle had remained sitting at Beckett's bedside, whispering reassuring words into her ears just like he did before, gently brushing his fingertips across her knuckles in a soothing motion.

Her hands were still cold, even beneath the warmth of the sheets, and her forehead was still burned up, her cheeks slightly red.

He slowly, _carefully_ raised one of his hand to caress the side of her slack face, brushing back a few, disheveled locks of hair. Her fever had increased in the past few hours that's for sure, he could feel the growing heat beneath his palm.

"Oh, Kate." He had whispered, still stroking her face, slightly brushing the slim wires inserted into her nose, when Marie, the young night nurse came in to check her IVs. According to the doctors the medication she was getting wasn't helping anymore, that's why her fever was rising by each passing hour. However, they were able to slow down the effects of the poision by giving her an injection in every two hours. It wasn't much, but it was something, and she didn't collapse since they had put her on machines, which was a good sign.

Marie flashed him a small, reassuring smile after giving her the next shot, offering him a glass of water with some snacks. He wasn't hungry at all, his stomach was filled with nerves all day, but he gladly accepted the offer anyway, forcing a little smile on his face as well. Marie was a nice nurse, Kate would like her too. Hell, she will like her too, Castle corrected himself, trying to remain positive.

The hours had passed, it was long after midnight already and yet, he wasn't sleepy at all. Well, he was tired as hell, let's admit that, but his racing heart refused to calm down, thanks to the rush of adrenalin still lingering in his body.

He was sitting at her bedside now, the sea of city lights and a dim lamplight as the only surce of light, bathing them both in hues of gold.

It's gonna be a long night, Castle had sighed aloud to himself, looking straight at Beckett's unmoving frame, gently stroking her hairline with the tip of his fingers.

It was hard to believe that beautiful night was only two days ago, when he was holding her in his arms like a treasure, worshipping every inch of her skin like he never did before, and now here she is, just lying in one place, unmoving, her body weak and fragile like a porcelan.

Castle was trying hard to distract himself from the current situation by thinking about all the good old times they had before, when there was no hurt, no danger, just the two of them, when all they wanted was each other.

Well, of course their relationship had never been easy, it took him three years to finally admit his love for her, and another year until she had finally acted on it.

Oh God, he will never forget that day, when she showed up at his doorsteps, completely soaked from the pouring rain, telling him that she almost died and all she could think about was him, telling him that all she ever wanted was him.

He will never forget that night they had in his bed after that confession, how tenderly she explored every inch of his skin, how gently her fingers traveled down his spine. He will never forget how he laid his hands on her slender body for the very first time, how much she wanted his fingers to linger on the faded scar between her breast, how loud she had moaned into his mouth when he caressed the uneven skin below her ribcages, when he traced the remnants of stiches at her left side.

Oh, and that kiss! He could never forget how deeply, how fiercly, how passionately they had kissed on that stormy night, tasting each other's insides like they never did before.

He will never forget their wedding day either, how simple and amazing it was, how they promised to be there for each other no matter what always, and now here he is, watching her on life support, unable to to anything to help her.

After rubbing his eyes to wipe away the salty moisture staining his skin he quickly trailed his thoughts back to the good old times, remembering how hard she was trying to deny her feelings when they first met, hiding behind unseen walls to protect her already broken heart for shattering once again. He will never forget that smirk on her lips when she whispered "You have no idea!" into the shell of his ear. _But now I do!_ Castle added under his breath now, finally a small grin working its way across his lips. He sighed out loud then, all the tension in his muscles finally loosening.

He kept thinking and thinking about old times and new ones, how much fun it always was - and still is - to built theories and solve cases with her, until the weight of his drooping lids grew heavier, until the quiet, but steady beep of heart monitors slowly lulled him into a restless, dreamless slumber.

* * *

He woke up early on the next morning, before the sun could even breach the horizon. His phone was buzzing with an incoming text message, rattling hard against the small hospital table. Stretching his spine and squinting in the semi-darkness he quickly fumbled for the device to check the message, which he had most likely gotten from the boys, but wait... the text he got was sent from an unknow number.

Frowning and blinking hard for a few times to clear his sleep-clouded vision he unclocked the screen, and read the message.

_"So how it feels like, huh? Watching her slowly getting worse and worse? Seeing her on life support, barely alive, almost dying? How it feels like to be helpless? Well, don't worry, you still have a chance to save her, but I'm afraid your detectives will run out of time. You will loose her for sure, and I can't wait to see that broken and devastated look on your face when it happens."_

His eyes widened in shock. Cold shiver ran down his spine, and his heart picked up speed. It's Jerry Tyson, it has to be him. How he got his phone number is another question, but it's him, that's for sure, Castle had fumed to himself. He ruined Tyson's escape plans a few years ago, and now that's his revenge. It all adds up. It all makes sense. Except, he won't win. No, never! They will save Beckett, they have to!

* * *

Castle kept re-reading the threatening message, over and over in the past ten minutes like it would help to change anything, then with a frustrated, heavy sigh he called the precinct to inform Ryan and Esposito.

They told him Ryan will stop by the hospital to take his phone and run down the unknown number as soon as possible.

Thank God Castle wasn't face to face with Jerry Tyson now, he would throw him to the nearest wall for sure, and he would punch him hard and hard, but... no. These kind of thoughts won't bring her back, won't help to solve anything, Castle had reminded himself, shaking his head in disbelief. He was mad and angry, ready to break something, but he didn't want to disturb Kate, or make a scene here, so he fell into his usual plastic chair instead, stroking his hand along her hairline to distract himself, whispering sweet promises into her ear.

* * *

It was late afternoon already, the day was dragging by too fast and too slow at the same time. The hour was ticking, and the boys were still nowhere with the investigation.

They had checked out the restaurant right in early morning, but there was nothing they could connect to Jerry Tyson. There was no sign of the poison, nor anything else. The place was clear and normal. They even questioned the staff, but no one seemed to recognize Jerry from the photo the detectives had showed them, and the waitress, who had served Castle and Beckett on that day, was apparently off from work today.

The threatening message on Castle's phone was another dead end. The message was sent from a burner phone, untraceable, so after the quick check up, Ryan gave his phone back to him with an apologetic look on his face. However, the Irish detective had promised that no one is giving up yet, and that they will find Jerry Tyson, or the antitode, no matter what it takes.

At one point Castle wanted to join them on the field to help them with the investigation, but on the other hand he didn't want to leave Kate alone in the hospital, so he remained staying by her side.

He was staring out the window now, observing the busy city life below. The weather seemed to be cold and frigid outside, typical for November. The sky was dark, grey and gloomy all day, perfectly matching his devastated mood. Snowflurries were threatening to fall anytime, according to the forecast winter is coming early this year. Castle was always excited around this time of a year, eagerly waiting for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but now he couldn't care less about the upcoming holidays. All he wanted was to get her back.

* * *

Another hours had passed, and the night had slowly crept in. Castle was nervously strolling here and there, occasionally sitting down on his well known plastic chair to check Beckett's fever, which was still rising, and there was nothing the doctors could do about it anymore. He had even put a damp, cold towel onto her forehead, wetting it in every ten minute to keep it fresh and cool, hoping it will help to lower her temperature, but they all knew it's pointless. Her only chance was the antitode, which was still nowhere to be seen.

Castle was trying hard to push aside all the unnerving thoughts, but he was unable to do so. All he could think about was Kate, and that damned text message. He couldn't fathom loosing her.

He had even called his dad to distract himself, finally able to reach him. Castle didn't even want to think about how her dad must feel now. Jim couldn't even believe his ears when Castle had told him what's going on. He, without hesitation said that he is traveling back home right now, and Castle knew for sure without even asking that Jim will stop by and visit his Katie in instant he gets back to the city.

After the phone call with Jim, Castle had planted himself back in the small, uncomfortable plastic chair, keeping an eye on Beckett, observing the slow, but steady rise and fall of her chest.

Another long hour had passed, and he could feel the exhaustion slowly dragging him down. He let out a heavy, exasperated sigh, rubbing his sleep-deprived eyes, when his phone suddenly rang, breaking the unnerving silence.

"Hey Espo, did you guys find anything?" Castle asked eagerly, without even introducing himself, his heart pounding loud in his ears.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact we did." Espo began, and Castle held his breath, clutching the phone tighter to his ear.

"We could finally spoke to the waitress, who served you guys three days ago, and she recognized Jerry Tyson on the photo we showed her." Castle's eyes lit up with hope, but he didn't dare to interrupt. "According to the waitress, he lives only a few blocks away from the restaurant. We went straight there to search the place, but there is no sign of Tyson anymore. The place is clean, like no one has ever been there. No prints, nothing." Espo sighed out disappointedly. "However, we spoke to the doorman, who let us in the basement, and we found a bunch of chemicals there." Espo went on, his tone was lighter now, more hopeful." We sent the them to the lab, and according to our best chemist, one of them is the antitode." That was all the answer Castle needed to hear, and for the first time in the past 24 hours, he could let out a heavy sigh of relief, accompanied with pure delight and a wide smile blossoming across his face.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's a bit early yet, but I probably won****'t be able to post anymore chapters this year, so I****'******m wishing you all a happy holidays now, and even if you don******'t celebrate Christmas, I hope you are having a great time anyway! :) Thanks for all your responses, means a lot to me! :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Happy New Year!**

* * *

It's been a few hours, since the doctors gave her the antitode in a form of injection. Kate was still on life support, still unconscious, still motionless, but her eyeballs were slightly moving behind the close lids. Was she dreaming something? Or slowly waking up? It was hard to tell yet, but Castle was hoping the latter.

When he touched her sweaty forehead not that long ago he could feel her fever was not that high anymore, it was slowly dropping by each passing hour. Kate was sweating hard since she got the injection, which was a good sign. Seemed like the antitode was helping, Castle thought under his breath, smiling.

It was all too easy, finding the chemicals and all, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to finally get her back. According to Lucy, who was a tall, brunette nurse in shift today, Kate was expected to wake up within a few hours, if her system will react well to the medicines she got. Castle was eagerly waiting for that moment to happen, he was checking his watch in every ten minutes like it would help to speed up time.

He was sitting in that small, plastic chair next to her bedside again, waiting for her to finally wake up or show any sign of wakefulness, but even after hours, Kate was still lying silent and unmoving.

Her father, Jim was here too, he dropped by in early afternoon to check on her daughter. The old man wasn't sleeping much last night, Castle could tell that for sure, but honestly, he could relate.

The doctors didn't let him to stay for long due to visiting hours and all, so Jim had to leave early, but Castle assured him that it's gonna be fine, and that he will keep him posted about the condition of her daughter, he even promised to text him in instant Kate wakes up.

Castle kept his eyes on Beckett for hours, even after Jim left, waiting for the miracle to finally happen, until his own eyelids felt heavy and he slowly, but surely surrended himself to the tempting call of sleep.

* * *

The first thing Kate had noticed when she had slowly awoken was a quiet, muffled voice, talking to her in reassurance. At first she didn't recognized who that voice belonged to, everything was blurry. Noises were blending together in near and far distance, mingling with the beeping sound of some machines - heart monitors probably, - but when those well known, familiar hands started stroking her face she knew immediately who that voice belonged to.

Castle.

He is here. Wherever they are, he is here too. Kate attempted a weak smile, slowly blinking her gritty eyes open, but in instand her eyelids fluttered open she squeezed them shut again, growling against the strong lights overhead.

She tried to say something, but no words could make it past her slack lower lip. It was just a nonsense, weak mumbling, and that's when she noticed that something sharp was shoved down her throat, blocking her vocal cords. She immediately panicked, thrashing hard against the tube. His familiar, soothing hands were on her face again, his low, husky voice whispering reassuring voices to her ears, urging her to calm down, but her still closed eyes were already welling up with tears.

She tried to call out his name, but it was just a loud, desperate whimper as it went past her parched lips. Her tongue felt heavy and useless, her entire mouth dry like cotton. Kate swallowed hard, once and twice, which only made her cough. God, she needed to drink, she whimpered out loud, and before she could think any further, Castle was already offering her a glass of water like he would read her mind, like he would know excatly what she needs. Well, of course he knew, he always knows, Kate had reminded herself.

Carefully, Castle placed the long straw into her slightly opened mouth and Kate took a long sip, letting the cool liquid linger in her mouth, wetting her insides. When she was about to swallow it down with her eyes still closed she suddenly misswallowed, thanks to those damned wires still in her throat. Kate coughed out loud, the majority of the drink sloshing up, drenching the upper part of her shirt.

She opened her eyes at that, but only briefly. The lights were still strong, her eyelids too heavy.

When the coughing had finally eased Castle was encouraging her to drink more of the water, saying she needs it to feel better, saying it's gonna be okay, but nah, it was enough. Growling under her breath she turned her head away, letting him know that she was in no mood to drink from that water again, not until that damned thing is still in her throat.

She wanted to open her eyes so badly, she wanted to look around and figure out where she is, where they are, but her eyelids felt heavier than ever before, slowly dragging her under for another deep sleep to which, she gladly surrended herself.**  
**

* * *

She was in and out time to time then, for no longer than just a few minutes, always doozing off beneath his soft caresses.

Kate had no clue as to what happened or where they are, not until she caugt a glimpse of the bunch of wires extended from her arm and her upper body. That's when she started to put the pieces together, but before she could cry out or show any response, the tender caress of his soft fingers, the melody of his reassuring voice, and the steady rhythm of heart monitors always lulled her back into another deep sleep.

She even tried to speak once or twice, but she was never able to form a coherent word, no matter how hard she tried, it was always just a nonsense mumble talk, a loud, desperate whimper.

* * *

Waking up the next time was less confusing. Kate was finally able to keep her eyes open for longer than a few minutes, slowly looking around the white rooom, curiously taking in her surroundings.

She was laying in a hospital bed, she could tell that for sure by now, the unmistakable smell of overwashed bedsheets filled her nostrils everytime she woke.

Kate still didn't know what happened or why is she here, everything was still blurry. No matter how hard she tried to think about the last few hours, or days, or whatever, she couldn't recall much, she only remembered throwing up at the precinct, the blood test with Lanie, and then... nothing. She had no idea why or how she ended up here.

She wondered what if she had some type of surgery, but again, she didn't feel any throbbing pain, nothing was hurting that much, so Kate quickly ruled that possibility out. She then statred wondering what if it was more than just a few days, what if she was out for much longer, for weeks or even months. Oh God, what if..

She then suddenly started moving in her bed in discomfort, slightly twitching her face, letting out a low moan. The slim wires in her nose were tugging hard, which only made her even more frustrated.

"Shh, it's okay Kate, it's gonna be fine." Castle tried to reassure her, gently brushing a few strands of hair away from her face.

"I'm glad you are finally awake, Kate." He then added in a soft tone, the familiar press of his hands engulfing her slim fingers.

She was now staring at him with barely opened, sleep-glazed eyes, still a bit disoriented.

Kate didn't try to talk this time, only graced him with a weak smile. She already knew it's pointless to even try talking, thanks to that damned tube still in her throat.

She tried to get rid of that thing, when she was still barely conscious, but everytime she tried, Castle pulled her hand away from the slim wires, promising her that the doctors will take care of it. Kate only grumbled something under her breath then, annoyed and frustrated, unable to say more, unable to even protest.

"I missed you Kate, I missed you so much." Castle spoke to her again, caressing the side of her face, interrupting the whirl of her unnerving thoughts. He then out of nowhere pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, making her insides flutter in pleasure. The feel of his lips on her skin could always calm her down, could always make her smile, no matter what. She weakly squeezed his hand in response then, trying to interlace her fingers with his, still holding his gaze with her bleary, sleep-clouded eyes.

"'ow long?" She managed to drawl out then, much to her own surprise. Her voice was weak and low, barely audible, more like a whisper, but at least it was something.

"Two days, Kate. You were unconscious for only about 48 hours." He told her in reassurance, even though it felt so much longer.

She let out a sigh of relief, and nodded in understanding.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" Castle then asked tentatively, a bit concerned.

She didn't say anything, only pointed at her IV riddled arm with her gaze.

"Oh, it's just because of the needles Kate, don't worry, it will pass." Castle told her in his usual, calm and husky voice, caressing the lenght of her aching arm. She closed her eyes at that, enjoying the soothing motion of his fingers.

His answer didn't console her as much as he thought it would be, even if her eyes were squeezed shut, Castle could tell that she was at the verge of tears again.

He quickly offered her a glass of water then, trying to change the subject, trying to distract her mind from all the unnerving thoughts.

Kate accepted the drink without hesitation, curling her fingers around the small mug, holding it on her own.

She took a few sips, more careful this time, finally able to swallow past the slim plastic wire inserted into her throat.

When she was done with drinking she turned her head away from him, sinking back into the large pillow.

The doctor said that Kate should be drinking more, at least a glass of water per hour, but she seemed tired, so Castle decided not to bother her with that. At least for now. He placed the glass back on the table with a heavy sigh, then he returned his haze to her almost sleeping frame.

She was beautiful, even now without any make up, and in nothing but an oversized hospital gown. Her face was less pale now, she finally regained some color. Her long, honey brown hair was disheveled, shimmering in the late afternoon sunlight, it's loose curls spilling over the large pillow.

Kate was weak, tired, fragile and devastated, and she had seemingly lost a lot of weight in the past few days, but she was alive. And Castle couldn't be more grateful for that.

* * *

Kate was panting and whimpering, gasping hard for air, her chest throbbing with the harsh snag of oxygen. Castle was holding her steadily, urging her to calm down, to breathe slowly, in- and out.

The doctors had finally took that damned breathing tube out of her throat on the next morning, which to her dismay, only made her cough, choking hard on breathless noises.

It wasn't the first time she went through this, at least now she didn't have a throbbing bullet hole in her chest, and she finally got rid of those damned wires, but the first attempt of breath was a real struggle to her already abused trachea anyway.

She tried to in- and exhale slowly, like the nurse had instructed, but it was hard, really hard. Her throat was aching, her lungs burning with the need of oxygen, and her eyes were already welling up with tears.

Kate gasped for air once again, harder this time, and that's when she was finally able to take in a proper breath, without much of a struggle.

Still panting, she let out a sigh of relief, brushing away a few, sweaty strands of hair from her damp forehead.

A few minutes later, when the doctors had finally left the room she leaned further into Castle's side, burying her face into the crook of his neck. She tried to speak, still breathing heavily, but she couldn't manage more than the attempt of his name, her throat still scratchy from the tube.

"It's gonna be fine, Kate. It's gonna be fine." Castle had whispered, caressing the lenght of her spine in a soothing motion.

" I want to go home, Castle." She sobbed into his embrace then, after clearing her throat and swallowing hard. "I just want to go home." Kate choked out on a harsh breath, the upper part of his shirt muffling her broken voice.

"Shhh, it's okay, we will get there, Kate. We will find our way home." Castle promised her quietly, running his hand down the lenght of her hair, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Still sobbing, she fisted her hand into his shirt in response, never wanting to let him to.

Castle held her tight against his chest for long, for almost an hour, mumbling reassuring words into her hair, until her breath returned to its steady pattern, until the weight of her drooping lids became heavier, coaxing her into another deep slumer.

* * *

"Aren't you hungry?" Castle asked a few hours later, when she was wide-awake again, offering her a small plate filled with hospital food. She was on a strong diet, her system still on IV fluids, but she was allowed to eat at least a bit, hovewer, she didn't want to.

"Kate, you need to eat!" He prompted, his voice gentle, but firm.

"I told you I'm not hungry." Kate snapped back, her voice still weak and rough, not much louder than a whisper.

"Kate, if you are afraid to eat again-"

"I'm not!" She stated firmly, interrupting him mid-sentence, her voice leaving no room for any further argument.

Castle didn't respond anything to that, he only put the food back on the table with a frustrated, heavy sigh.

"You made at me now?" Kate slurred, furrowing her brow, meeting his gaze.

"No, no. I'm just-" he trailed himself off with another heavy sigh, running his hand through his short hair.

Kate knew excactly why he didn't finish that sentence. He was tired and exhausted, done with everything, and she could relate and understand.

"You should go home, Castle." She murmured quietly. "Take a proper sleep, and-"

"No." He shook his head, cutting her off. "I'm not going anywhere, not without you." He stated, gently squeezing her hand.

"It's okay Castle. I can be here on my own." Kate asserted with a weak smile, gently brushing her own fingertips along his knuckles. "I'm too much of a trouble now anyway." She added under her breath, lowering her gaze in shame.

"Hey, don't say that." Castle quickly protested in a low, gentle voice. "You are never a trouble. Not to me, okay?" He assured her softly, brushing back a loose, unruly curl of hair from her face. Kate lifted her gaze at that, the corner of her lips involuntarily curling upwards at the brush of his fingertips.

"We will get through this Kate, I promise. And we will do it together, okay?" She only nodded in response, closing her eyes at the sudden feel of comfort.

* * *

"I still can't believe I got poisoned, Castle." She sighed out a few minutes later, after a long, unnerving moment of silence.

"At first I thought... that I'm pregnant." She added. The last part of her sentence was barely audible, her gaze lowered in shame, unable to meet his sparkling blue eyes.

"Yeah, I know." He nodded with a sigh, stroking the side of her face.

"You do? How?" She snapped her eyes back to him, her voice rising with curiousity.

"Lanie told me." _Oh, that's how. _

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I wasn't feeling well, I just thought it will... pass." She confessed on a shallow breath, shrugging her shoulders, lowering her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay." His soft, caressing fingers were on her face again, circling in a calming motion, filling her with warmth.

"Well yeah, it freaked the hell out of me when I got that phone call," Castle conceded with a slight nod, "but it's okay Kate, I know it's not your fault."

She didn't know what to say, at one point she was blaming herself because of everything, but on the other hand, she knew Castle was right. So Kate only flashed him a weak smile in response, slowly falling asleep beneath the calming touch of his fingertips.

"Can you tell me how it all happened?" She then slurred after a wide yawn, blinking hard to keep her eyes open.

Castle started telling her everything, every single detail since she passed out in the precinct bathroom, but somewhere at the middle of his talk, she fell asleep again. No matter how hard she tried to fight against the exhaustion weighing down her eyelids, the latter was winning anyway. The soft melody of his voice slowly faded, her vision blurred, as her mind slowly drifted off into another sweet slumber.

* * *

A quiet, barely audible murmur of voices roused her from sleep on the next morning, floating through the air, slowly reaching to her senses.

At first she thought the night nurse had came in to change her IV bags, but no.

The blend of voices strenghtened as she slowly drifted into consciousness, making it clear why that nurse was actually here. She wanted to take her blood. That's just great.

Inserting another needle into her already aching arm will be nothing but painful.

Kate tried to protest, still drowsy from sleep, still with her eyes closed, but the nurse held her arm firmly, whispering reassuring words into her ears which she didn't care about, which only made it even more painful. Great.

When that damned blood draw was finally over she let out a low whimper and a silent sigh of relief. Castle was right. Marie was a nice nurse, but she was already done with everything. She just wanted to go home and sleep in peace, in her own, comfortable bed.

When the nurse had finally left the room she opened her eyes, but only briefly. Blinking hard for a few times then, she slowly adjusted her bleary eyes to the strong lamplight overhead. It was past 6 a.m. already, but the sun was still nowhere to be seen. It was still dark, the weather grey and gloomy, with a thick fog layering the city.

It was snowing at night, she could clearly see the remnants of snowflakes on the window pane.

Kate was thinking about going back to sleep, it was still an early morning after all, when a strong wave of nausea suddenly washed over her entire being.

_Ops, that's nothing good!_

"Castle," She called out, pushing herself up on one elbow, attempting to sit up, gasping hard for air. The sudden movement sent a jab of pain running down her IV riddled arm, but she ignored it.

"Kate, you okay?" Castle quickly asked in concern, helping her to sit up properly.

"No," she sighed out, sucking in a harsh breath, cursing that damned blood draw under her breath. "I think I will throw up again." She choked out, almost crying.

"It's okay Kate, don't worry it will be fine." Castle tried to reassure her, quickly rising from the chair to grab a small bowl from the table.

She was gasping for air harder now, letting out low moans and quiet whimpers, until she finally started retching into the small hospital bowl which Castle held in front of her.

She didn't throw up anything this time, not even a bile, _thank God_, but a cold sweat trailed down her spine anyway, making her shiver. Or was her entire body shaking because of all the fear slowly consuming her insides?

Kate was afraid as hell, worried what if the poison is still in her system, what if she falls back into unconsciousness once again. Second time she won't make it, that's for sure, she has no strenght nor energy for that. No, it can't be happening, she bursted out in tears.

Castle was sitting in front of her now, still holding that small bowl in his hand.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay." He whispered to her gently, stroking the side of her face.

She shook her head _"no,"_ still sobbing, still feeling a bit nauseous.

"What if it's back, Castle?" She sniffled, her voice broken, throaty.

"The poison, what if-"

"Shh, it's okay. The poision is long gone from your system. Dr. Scott told us for sure, remember?" He spoke to her gently, brushing back a few strands of hair plastered to her sweaty forehead.

"You hadn't eaten anything since you woke up yesterday, and now you had this blood draw, I think that's why you are feeling bad."

Well, he has a point, Kate had thought, wiping a lone tear drop away from her face. She didn't reply anything, she only sniffled quietly under her breath, hoping that Castle is right.

* * *

"Do you feel better now?" He asked a few minutes later, when her breath returned to its steady pattern and the awful feeling of nausea was finally gone.

"Yeah." She sighed out cheerfully, running her hand through the oily strands of her hair.

Kate remained in a sitting position even after the nausea was long gone, the large pillow cushioning her back. It was enough of laying in that damned hospital bed, she wanted to be sitting already.

"And now you should really eat, Kate." Castle said softly, offering her a small plate with dietetic hospital food.

She accepted the food without hesitation now, forcing down a few bites. The sight of the hospital food was disgusting itself, but oh, well... she couldn't fathom getting sick again, so she had to force herself to eat whatever kind of food it was.

* * *

"So you really think it was him, Jerry Tyson?" Kate asked quietly later that night. When she was finally coherent enough to pay attention, Castle told her every single detail about the case, starting from the moment he got the phone call about her being poisoned. Beckett listened to him carefully, occasionally shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was him." Castle nodded, lowering his voice in disappointment.

"And do you think he will be back?" She asked tentatively, her voice quiet, still drowsy from sleep.

"No, I don't think so." Castle replied sternly, faster than he wanted, shaking his head.

"Don't worry Kate, I won't let him hurt you again." He then added with a smile, lacing his own fingers with hers, gently squeezing her limp hand.

"Castle, I know you are trying to-"

"I'm serious Kate." He cut her off. "He won't hurt you again, I promise." Castle knew it was too early to say that, to make any promises, he didn't know what the future holds, none of them did, but he was certain about one thing. He won't let her getting hurt like that again.

"Did the guys find any leads?" Kate then asked bashfully after a brief moment of silence, running her hand through her disheveled hair, already bracing herself for his answer.

"No, nothing." Castle sighed out in response. Well, that's excatly what she was afraid of. "Just the antitode, and a scrape of paper with a note _"Better luck next time"_. He added.

"So he will be back." Kate snapped her gaze back to him, her eyes litting up with... hope or fear? He couldn't tell.

"Yeah, but even if he will, I don't think it will happen anytime soon, Kate." Castle assured her gently, his large palm still covering hers. "So don't worry okay? Just focus on your recovery." He added with his usual soft and charming smile.

She only nodded in reply, her gentle smile matching his.

Kate hated to admit, but Castle was right. The fight with Jerry Tyson could wait. Now she has to recover. And once she does, she will do everything to find him, to take him down with justice.

"Oh, speaking about the boys, they would like to visit you, along with Lanie." Castle said cheerfully then, drawing her away from her thoughts. "If that's okay with you." He added.

Kate knew she will never live this down. Not with the boys, and especially not with Lanie. Her friend warned her in time, told her to go to doctors right at the beginning, but Kate ignored it. Well, now she can face the consequences, she had thought, smiling under her breath. Kate knew for sure they all will tease her about this for a long while, but she didn't mind. She would do the same if the situation would be reversed.

"Yeah, of course Castle! I can't wait to see them too." She said eventually, with a wide smile stretching across her face. Yeah, she couln't wait to see them. And to thank them for everything.

"And now come here Castle." She instructed teasingly, moving at the corner of her hospital bed, leaving enough space for two.

She knew Castle didn't get a proper sleep for days, he was hunched over all nights on that small plastic chair, so she offered him to lay down next to her. Well yeah, it was a hospital bed, uncomfortable as hell, but it was still better than nothing.

"Oh, come on, Castle. Just lay down next to me." Kate prompted, noticing his hesitance. She turned onto her right side then, careful not to jostle those damned IV lines still inserted into her arm.

"And what about the doctors, huh?" Castle shot back teasingly, still unsure about sharing a hospital bed with her.

"Really Castle? Since when do you care about others seeing us together, huh?" She tossed back in response, quirking her eyebrow in challenge.

"Well, you have a point." He gave in eventually, grinning widely. Castle quickly rose from the chair and slid under the sheets next to her then, snuggling close into the warmth of her embrace.

She clutched the blanket tighter around them, holding him even closer.

They were laying face to face now, and she couldn't help but stare into those bright blue, sparkling eyes. She could never get tired of watching his face, to examine his features, not even after three years of marriage. It was visible he hadn't shove in days, but honestly, she liked that short stubble adorning his jaw.

Kate slowly traced her fingers along the side of his face, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Castle was almost sleeping, barely aware of his surroundings, but the small brush of her lips made him smile under his breath.

Snuggling even closer to her he let out a silent sigh of relief, thanking to whoever above for saving her life. He was finally able to relax without the constant fear of losing her, without worrying what happens next. Sure, there was still a long way of recovery, but she was here, tangled in his arms, alive and breathing. He was finally able to feel her closeness, the warmth of her breath caressing his skin. That was all he wanted, that was all he needed. She survived, and he couldn't be more grateful.


	6. Chapter 6

"Aw, thank you so much guys, but you didn't have to bring me anything, really!" Kate exclaimed with a wide smile stretching across her lips as she accepted the shopping bag from Lanie, which was containing fruits and vegetables, all kind of healthy foods.

On the next day, they all visited her at the hospital. Ryan, Espo, Lanie, and of course Castle was there too. It was an early afternoon, the only time when she was allowed to have visitors.

The sun was shining bright, its golden rays were streaming in through the half-shut blinds, illumintating the entire room. It was dark and gloomy the whole week so it was really nice to finally see the sun peeking out from the thin layers of clouds, but the weather was still cold and frigid anyway.

It was snowing hard all night and even now, despite the bright glare of the winter sun the entire city was still coated in white, patches of cottony snowflurries were adorning even the smallest window panes.

It was just mid-November, having that much snow was a bit unusual around this time of a year, but Kate didn't mind at all, she had always liked winter, so she was more than happy to finally see the whole landscape turning into a white wonderland.

Kate wanted to go outside so badly, strolling on the snow covered streets of New York, inhaling the refreshing, ice-cold winter air, but oh well, she was still weak and fragile, trapped in this damned hospital room.

"I'm so glad to finally see you honey!" Lanie pulled her in for a tight hug, drawing her away from her thoughts.

"Same, Lanie! I'm so glad to see you too!" She agreed with a wide smile tugging at her lips, returning her emrace without hesitation.

"And you too, guys. Thanks for coming!" Kate adressed toward the guys, Ryan and Esposito. "And thanks for doing everything to save me." She added in a lower voice, flashing them a smile of gratitude.

"No need to thank us, Beckett." Ryan said as he gave her a small hug as well, careful not to jostle the bunch of IV lines still attached to her left arm.

"Yeah, we are just glad you are okay." Espo chimed in with a bright smile. "At least we don't have to work after hours anymore." The Hispanic detective added with a smirk after hugging her too.

Kate only rolled her eyes at that, unable to hold back a smile.

"So how are you?" Lanie then asked cheerfully, after settling herself comfortable at the edge of her hospital bed.

Ryan and Espo, along with Castle were sitting on plastic chairs, but there weren't enough chairs for all of them, so Lanie choosed to sit on her bed, which Kate didn't mind at all. She was happy to be surrounded by her friends again.

"Well, I'm fine I guess." Kate answered with a nonchalant shrug, already tired of this particular question. "I just want to go home already." She sighed out in frustration, trying to arrange herself more comfortable in that damned hospital bed.

"Why Beckett, I thought you like being stucked with me." Castle chirped in to lighten up the mood.

"Shut up Castle." She instructed teasingly, rolling her eyes at him.

"I heard you can go home in a few days, so don't worry it will fly by." Lanie assured her cheerfully, patting her knees.

"Look at the bright side, Beckett. At least now you have enough time to finally read my new book." Castle quipped teasingly with a playful glint in his eyes, leaning an inch closer to her, his nose almost brushing the shell of her ear. "I promise it won't disappoint you." He then added on a low whisper, the heat of his breath caressing her skin.

Kate only rolled her eyes at that, her lips curling up in a shy smile.

"Seriously Castle? Are you promoting yourself to me now?" She tossed back, gently pushing him away. "Why I'm not surprised." She grumbled under her breath with another eye roll.

"Ew, you shouldn't put such a big pressure on her, Castle!" Ryan chimed in, clearly enjoying himself. "She needs to heal yet, remember?" At that, Kate bursted out in laugh, unable to hold herself back.

"Yeah, Ryan is right!" She chuckled.

"You should use your charm and fame to convince the doctors instead, and finally get me out of here Castle!" She said in a sing-song voice and oh God, those shining, hazel green eyes! He would gladly drown into them anytime!

"And besides, what if I say I would want to read something else instead, huh?" She retorted with a teasing grin tugging at her lips.

"You wound me Beckett. You really do." Castle pouted dramatically. "That's what I deserve after taking care of you for days, huh?!" He remarked teasingly.

Kate knew he was just kidding, she really did, but a sudden feel of guilt washed over her entire being anyway, ruining her mood, making her uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry I put you all through this guys, I didn't want to." She let out in a low voice, scraping her hand through her messy hair.

"It's okay Beckett, no need to apologize." Ryan assured her gently, patting her knees, which made her smile under her breath.

"You know I was just kidding, right?" Castle chirped in his usual, goofy voice, and Kate couldn't help but flash him brief smile.

"Yeah, I know." She relented with a sigh, trying to let it go.

Silence fell over them for a moment too long then, it was eventually Kate who decided it was time for a subject change.

"Any developments on the case?" She asked quietly, timidly, hoping that the guys could find a new lead in the last 24 hours.

"No, nothing. It's like chasing a ghost." Espo said with a heavy sigh, disappointed.

She only nodded in response, unable to add anything more. It's been almost a week since she got into the hospital, since she got poisioned, and still nothing. The case will most likely remain unsolved, she could already see that.

"I'm sorry Kate. We did everything we could." Ryan said in a serious tone, trying to reassure her.

"Yeah, I know," she sucked in a shallow breath, trying to get herself together, "but I wish... I just wish I could look into the case, I wish I could go back to work already." She sighed out, seemingly frustrated, fidgeting with the hem of her bedsheet.

"You will get back to it, don't worry." Lanie assured her softly, squeezing her hand.

"But I feel useless here!" She snapped back.

"Just a few more days, remember? It will pass by quickly!" Castle cut in, trying to calm her down.

"Yeah, says the one who could barely survive two days without my presence!" Kate tossed back with a grin, giving him a pointing glare, pushing his buttons like always.

"Yeah, that's right Beckett! He was like a baby, crying for you the whole time!" Espo joined, enjoying the banter.

"No, I wasn't!" Castle pouted like a child, making them all laugh.

"Well, now I feel like I missed out a lot!" Kate chuckled, her hazel green eyes sparkling with pure delight and happiness.

Yes, she was happy, Kate had admitted to herself. She was finally able to enjoy this moment, to enjoy the whole day without a constant fear or worry consuming her insides. She was freed from all the tension, from all the danger, from all the pain. The fight with Jerry Tyson was yet to come, yes, but for now,_at least for now_, she felt like herself again.

They kept talking about lighter topics then, teasing each other like always, until the visiting hours had slowly come to a close.

Kate didn't want to let them go yet, to say goodbye to her friends. She didn't want to stay in this damned hospital room for any longer, she didn't want to sit here and do nothing just think about her current condition. She wanted to go home already, to cuddle in the warmth of her own bed. But oh well, she couldn't, so after nodding them farewell her eyes suddenly started to fill with tears. She quickly reached up to wipe them away, letting out a low, silent whimper under her breath. Kate was already done with being here. She just wanted to go home.

* * *

Dusk had settled by the time the visitors had left, only the glow of the moon and the pale city lights were streaming in through the half-drawn curtains.

Her eyes were getting tired of the strong fluorescent lights overhead, so they switched to night lamp already, illuminating the hospital room with only a soft and dim, golden light.

It wasn't that late yet, but Kate was slowly getting tired, this noisy afternoon sucked all the energy out of her weak body.

She wasn't complaining at all, she was glad she could finally spend some time with Lanie and the boys, but she was still weak and fragile, and she could already feel the exhaustion slowly dragging her down.

"It was quiet a day, huh?" Castle said tiredly after slumping down at the edge of her hospital bed.

"Yeah, don't even tell." She sighed out heavily, covering her mouth with her hand to supress a yawn.

"Look Castle, you don't have to be here." She then said after a brief pause, nibbling on a slice of apple which Lanie and the boys had brought her. She was glad she was finally allowed to eat other than just hospital food, and she was glad she could finally stomach more than just a few bites.

"I'm already feeling better," Kate went on after downing the last bite of the fruit with a gulp of water, "and I can be here on my own, and I was thinking that you should-"

"Kate," He whispered, interrupting her babbling. "We talked about this, I'm staying." He insisted, his voice low and deep, leaving no room for any further argument.

"But..." She went on anyway, stammering, nervously fidgeting with the hem of her night gown. "When you said that you had to care about me for days, I thought-" She trailed herself off, not sure what to even say.

"I was just kidding Kate, you know that." He chuckled, reaching out to clutch his hands with hers. "I would never complain about being with you." He stated in a low voice filled with emotions, and their eyes met for a moment too long then, hazel greens lost in sky blues, then it was her who broke this precious moment by lowering her gaze in shame.

Of course she knew he was just kidding, but she couldn't get it off of her head.

"And what about Martha and Alexis?" Kate went on quietly, staring at her white bedsheet. "I'm sure they already miss you." She let out on a soft exhale, fidgeting with their joined hands.

"Don't worry about them Kate, they understand." Castle assured her softly. "Alexis is all grown up, she can be on her own for a week and my mother, well... you know she doesn't mind being on her own either." He chuckled under his breath, making her smile as well.

"They all miss you too, Kate." Hearing his words she brought her eyes up, staring into his deep blues once again. She was a part of their family for more than three years by now, she knew they all cared about her, she knew they all missed her, as in fact she had grown closer even to her daughter, their friendship made a lot of progress over the years, but still... somehow it felt awkward, being here like this, broken and fragile, stucked in a hospital bed. She never wanted to put his family through any of this.

"Speaking of my mother and Alexis," Castle began, interrupting the wirl of her thoughts, "they both want to visit you too as soon as possible, along with your dad of course, if that's okay with you."

Kate didn't reply anything, just flashed him a bright smile. Of course it was okay, she couldn't wait to meet them! Especially her dad, she haven't seen him since she had woken up, but Castle told her everything, how worried he was about her only daughter. Kate could only imagine, and she couldn't wait to finally meet her dad and tell him that she is okay, that everything is fine. Well, of course they had spoken through the phone multiple times since she had woken up, but still, it wasn't the same.

"Thank you Castle." She then said with a heavy sigh, after a moment of silence, after a long inner debate.

"For what?" He asked curiously, but she could see the knowing glint sparkling in the dept of his sky blue eyes.

"For being here for me, for not giving up on me, for talking to me when I was dying." She listed, suddenly needing him to know. Kate held his gaze steadily the whole time, observing the pale lamp light and the glow of street lights dancing in his features.

"You heard?" Was all he managed to get out around a think swallow, his eyes litting up with... hope maybe?

"Yeah," She smiled, nodding. "Before I went under, I heard your desperate voice, I heard you begging for me to stay, and I heard those three beautiful words you said." She paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath, her eyes never leaving his.

"And I love you too." She declared, leaning an inch closer to him. "After all these years, I still love you with all my heart Castle, and I don't think it will ever change." She chuckled, the heat of her breath caressing his skin. She then slowly reacher out to cup his face in her palm, tracing the side of his cheeks. He didn't say anything, he didn't dare to interrupt this beautiful moment, he only swallowed hard as the soft brush of her fingertips made his insides flutter in pleasure.

"Your words were the only thing keeping me alive, Castle. You were the only reason I didn't give up, the only reason I survived." She sniffled, trying to hold back tears. "I was holding onto you the whole time." She confessed on a shallow breath, wiping at her misty eyes.

"So thank you Castle, thank you for everything." And with that, she slanted her mouth over his, drinking all the love from the seam of his lips. He parted his mouth in response without hesitation, letting her eager tongue to delve in, to explore every inch of his insides. She could taste the bitterness of the entire week on his dancing tongue, the remnants of coffe - which he had probably drank to keep himself awake on those restless nights he had endured - and she could feel something else, something which she couldn't quiet define, something which was entirely just him.

"Always, Kate." He panted into her mouth when their lips finally aparted to get some air.

"Always!" He repeated once again in a low and husky voice, tracing his thumb along the slope of her jaw. The contact of their skin made her entire body shiver, and before she could think any further his lips were suddenly moving over hers, pulling her in for another long, passionate kiss. Their tongues found each other again, dancing like they never did before as their lips melted into one, and he couldn't help wondering how he thought he would never get to taste her like this again, how close he actually was to loosing her.

But now they were together, connected in a way none of them knew was even possible, and suddenly all the unnerving thoughts washed away, the entire world faded as her tongue was gently caressing the inside of his mouth, making his body shiver, making his inside flutter.

All their broken pieces were finally fitting together, falling into one, like jagged pieces of puzzle. They were finally together, here and now, alive and breathing, drawn to each other like a magnet. That was all they ever wished for, that was all they needed, that was all that mattered.

Always.

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter will be the last one. Thanks for reading! :)**


	7. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

**8 MONTHS LATER**

* * *

Kate Beckett was walking at the beach along the sandy shoreline, waiting for her husband to arrive. It was an early evening, the sun was slowly setting down, broad streaks of pink and purple were adorning the early night sky.

Strolling on a beach like this she had always admired as the weak, fading rays of the setting sun bathed the entire landscape in a golden light, painting the sky with colorful ribbons of light.

She could never get tired of this amazing view, watching the colorful lights of sunset dancing at the surging surface of water, listening to the loud, yet peaceful sound of the ocean, as the salty water mingled with dampened sand beneath the clear surface was something indescribable.

A warm, gentle breeze whipped across her face as she lifted her gaze up to examine the crystal blue sky. Birds were flying overhead on the cloudless sky, and the sun was shining bright, _too bright, _momentarily blinding her vision. _Too bad she forgot her sunglasses in the beach house_, she grumbled to herself, squinting hard against the strong sunlight.

Lowering her gaze back down she spotted a tiny stone hiding in the dampened sand, only a few feet away from where she stood. She grabbed it without hesitation, and threw it into the lapping waves.

Kate Beckett had always enjoyed being out in the nature, the quiet whisper of trees and the peaceful sound of chirping birds was everything she needed to calm herself down, to refresh her mind.

The last few months were really hectic, so they decided to go down to the Hamptons for a few weeks. It was Castle's idea of course, but she gladly agreed, and couldn't wait to finally get out of the city and enjoy some private time with his husband.

It's been eight months since she got poisoned, since she almost died. She had fully recovered since then yeah, but the following weeks after she had been discharged from the hospital were pure hell.

There were times when she had woken up from a vivid nightmare, crying at the middle of the night, and there were other times, when she was in no mood to even eat or anything. There were lots of ups and downs, laughs and cries, but Castle stood by her side each time, holding her close, hugging her tight, whispering reassuring words into the shell of her ears and together, they eventually made it through.

She had fully recovered, got her strenght back, and solved the case with Jerry Tyson. Yes, they finally got him and his accomplice on a cold and frigid February day nearly five months ago. Apparently, they were about to kidnap her and make her suffer, but their plan got ruined when her team, Ryan and Espo were finally able to track them down and lure them out of the shadows. They both fell into the trap easily, so after all these years of chasing them, Kate finally had the pleasure to cuff them both and put them away for good.

Pursing her lips into a thin smile, she remembered how much fun they had in bed that night, after arresting Jerry Tyson. It was months ago already, but she remembered every second of it. How tenderly he caressed every inch of her skin, how carefully he pressed himself against her slender body, how gently he stained every inch of her skin with soft kisses, with unspoken promises, with so much love, just like he did on that other night, almost a year ago on their wedding anniversary.

Still smiling at the memory she inhaled deeply once and twice, enjoying the calming scent of the salty water, bringing her reeling mind back to the present.

It was now a beautiful, but extremely hot mid-summer day, the sun was scorching, the heat sweltering, almost unbearable, especially out here on the beach, where there were no trees to shield her from the blazing sun above.

Her hair fluttered harder in the strenghtening sea breeze, but the heat was still relentless, sweat poured off of her entire body all day, drenching the upper part of her green, sleeveless summer dress.

Blowing out a breath and running her hand through her wind-tousled, sweaty hair she couldn't help thinking how great it would be to cool herself down in the lap of waves.

Without thinking any further, she took a few, cautios steps toward the ocean, dipping her toes into the ice-cold water. In a second her bare foot came in contact with the freezing water she instictively withdrew her leg, wincing and gritting her teeth at the sudden feel of cold on her exposed skin.

Kate was about to try and risk another step, deeper into the ice-cold, deep blue ocean, when her husband had finally appeared in her sight.

"Hey, you should get rid of that dress and join me in the swimming pool instead, Beckett!" Castle quipped from afar. Hearing his distant, but audible voice she took a few steps back, her toes sinking into the damp sand as she turned to face his husband with a smile on her face.

"Don't even try to get into that ice-cold water, " he warned her teasingly, his voice growing louder as he had slowly approached. "I'm worried about you and the..." He quickly trailed himself off, standing in front of her, gently brushing his fingertips along her slightly growing belly. It wasn't visible that much yet, but according to the latest test results, she was carrying a little girl in there. A mini Beckett. Or is this little one going to be more like Castle is? She couldn't tell, but she couldn't wait to find it out.

"It's okay Castle, I can take care of myself, you know that." She smirked at him, her angelic voice quickly turning into her usual teasing mode.

Kate was five months pregnant now, at the middle of the second trimester. She was strongly nauseous, feeling sick every single day, especially on early mornings, but it was bearable, especially with Castle by her side. She had slowly gotten used to it, to the worsening feel of nausea, to the lack of sleep, to the growing pain around her abdomen, and she tried to ignore it all, by focusing on the fact, that she is carrying a child. _Their child. _It was her first pregnancy, and she wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

It was shortly after arresting Jerry Tyson, that she got pregnant. When she was poisoned last year and the sickness had started the first thing crossing her mind was pregnancy, and much to her own surprise, she had enjoyed that thought a lot.

But to her disappointment, she had woken up at the hospital two days later then, finding out from Castle that she wasn't even close to being pregnant. It deeply disappointed her, more than she thought it would be, so after she had been released from the hospital a week later, they were talking a lot about pregnancy, about starting a family, about having a child of their own.

Their biggest enemies, Bracken and Tyson were now both in prison for life, so they both agreed that after all these years of being together, after almost four years of marriage, it was really time to move forward, to start a new chapter of life, to build a family.

When she had found out about the life changing news all those months ago she had even considered quitting at the 12th, not wanting to risk her life anymore since there was someone else she had to think about first. Desk duty was not her thing at all, so Kate was seriously thinking about resigning for good. _She should have taken that senator offer all those years ago,_ she grumbled to herself back then.

But again, being a cop was everything to her, it was her mission, her calling, her life. Walking away from her profession would mean giving up on everything she had fought so hard for. And Kate Beckett never gives up. So for now, she decided to go for a maternity leave, to find her new rhythm, to find her new routine, and once they will be settled with the baby, she will decide whether to go back to work or quit it all together.

"You okay?" Castle asked in concern, snapping her out of her spiraling thoughts.

"Yeah, I was just... thinking." Kate shrugged. She didn't have to finish that sentence, Castle knew excatly how worried she was about everything.

"Don't worry Kate, we will make it work, we will be amazing." He grinned widely, wrapping his arms around her waist, tugging her close, shaking her gently.

"Yeah, I know." She sighed out with a smile.

Her beautiful, beaming smile outshone even the bright sun above, and he couldn't help admiring her beautiful frame, every curve of her perfectly shaped body, as her loose, light green floral dress had billowed in the gentle summer breeze, as the soft curls of her shoulder-lenght hair were dancing in the wind, as its loose strands were shimmering gold in the setting sun, whipping around her beautiful cheeks.

Her entire face was lit up with happiness, with pure delight, and he couldn't be happier to share this moment with her.

Still lost in the moment, he raised his free hand to cup her jaw, slowly tracing his fingertips along her chin, gently brushing the line of her lower lip.

"Oh, God Kate! You are beautiful." He breathed out silently, interrupting the peaceful sound of nature surrounding them. His voice was low, barely hearable, muffled by the sound of waves crushing hard against the rocky shore.

"But I'm getting fat," she chuckled in response, lowering her gaze, chewing hard on her lower lip. They were standing close, _too close, _he could even feel the huff of her laughter caressing his bare skin.

"You are pregnant Kate, it's different." He said cheerfully, unable to supress a smile. He then slowly reached out to brush a few, sweat-dampened strand of hair off of her beautiful, sun-kissed forehead.

Goosebumps erupted on her skin at his touch and she lifted her gaze up, her gorgeous hazel greens meeting his beautiful, sparkling blues.

For a moment too long she was juat staring at him, lost in the moment, observing the colorful lights of sunset dancing in the pool of his deep, ocean blue eyes.

"And besides," he went on, interrupting her musing. "I will always love you Kate, no matter how you gonna look like."

Images of their future suddenly popped into her head, kids, grandchildren, grey hair, and her lips involuntarily stretched into a wide smile. _She will always love him too. _

"Really Castle, you think so?" She tossed back with a knowing smirk instead, always enjoying to push his buttons.

"Why Katherine Beckett, you don't believe me?" Castle shot back teasingly, waggling an eyebrow at her.

"Well, I have my doubts." She chuckled, the sound of her laughter caressing his ears like a soft melody.

"Well, then let me prove it," he had whispered, leaning an inch closer to her. "Let me show you how much I love you, Kate." He breathed into her skin, and her cheeks suddenly felt warm. Ducking her head down she bit her lower lip, trying to supress a smile as the use of her first name made her entire body shiver of warm pleasure.

"Okay," she let out on a soft exhale, still blushing, her lips curving up into a shy smile.

He laced his fingers with hers in response then, leading her toward the large beach house they were staying in. And just like that, hand in hand, they slowly walked along the shoreline with a bright smile, the weak rays of the setting sun bathing them both in a soft, golden light.

Once they got into the building he showed her how much he loves her, how much he cares. He was gently rubbing up and down the lenght of her belly, murmuring soft promises, pressing gentle kisses on every inch of her bare skin, on every curve of her body.

They made love until the setting sun had dropped below, until the night had slowly worn on into the early morning.

They had to avoid certain activities in bed due to her pregnancy, but there were millions of other ways to show her his love, and she had enjoyed every single one of it, every single second of it.

After all, he was her one and done, her beginning and her ending, her today, her tomorow, her forever and her always.

* * *

**A/N: So this is the end, thank you all for reading it! I had never written long stories before, so it was challenging for me to write this fic, I was thinking in this Caskett universe for almost half a year. :)) But I enjoyed it a lot, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.**  
**I'm sorry there wasn't about the case and the investigation, but this was my very first multi-chapter, and I wanted to focus it on Caskett's relationship/Beckett's recovery instead.**  
**Thanks for all the likes, reviews, follows, etc. Means a lot to me.**  
**I joined this page a year ago, and wow... can't believe it's already been a year since I'm posting on here. I know my writings aren't that good, and there is still a lot to learn, but without your support and encouragement I wouldn't make it this far, so thank you once again. :))**  
**P.S. I don't own the show, neither its characters.**


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